My buddy took his first step!!!!!! Granted, it was entirely accidental and he hasn’t done it since, but I saw it with my own eyes. Of course, he was walking to me. The only other person around was monkey bear. She worked up a bit of enthusiasm, but not the response I was looking for.
My buddy has been standing unassisted over and over again. He will stand up, hold it for a few seconds, plop down, and look around for applause. Monkey bear is a pro at this. She calls me out from the kitchen every time he stands up. I can sit and just watch him. I never thought that at 15 months he would be standing on his own - with walking only a step away.
It’s funny. I hoped for walking by 2 years old. I am fully confident that milestone will be reached before my secret goal. I never had a thought about being able to drink from cups. And here we are … only able to use a bottle and only if leaning back. As they say, the highs are higher but the lows are lower. The therapeutic straw cup just came in the mail today, so off we go to reach another goal - even if we didn’t know it was there.
But man, how that boy loves to move. He can commando crawl faster than I can walk. He has mastered crawling up the stairs. He can pop up into sitting in the blink of an eye. He’s up on his feet pulling things off a table top before you even notice. Perhaps we have an athlete on our hands.
January 30, 2010
January 19, 2010
go forth and multiply?
Lately the question has been on my mind - is our family complete? I feel quite happy with two children. I think the number is easy to handle and it’s what I always imagined my family to be. I don’t want to go through pregnancy or the newborn stage again. Personally, I am complete.
But does that mean that my family is as well?
I know my buddy will learn more from siblings than any other source. Does he need more?
I think about monkey bear years from now with the task of caring for aging parents and keeping an eye on my buddy. Is it fair to have that burden be solely on her?
I want grandchildren. OK, so it’s a little premature for those thoughts, but all my eggs are in one basket (so to speak).
And lets face the facts. As my mother-in-law liked to say before I had kids, “You’re not getting any younger.”
How do people make that kind of a decision? I can barely decide what book to choose for the book club. Is it worth messing with my sanity now just to possibly improve the long term future? And there is no guarantee that any child will grow up to be responsible and helpful.
Perhaps I’ll start believing in a higher being and leave the decision to them.
But does that mean that my family is as well?
I know my buddy will learn more from siblings than any other source. Does he need more?
I think about monkey bear years from now with the task of caring for aging parents and keeping an eye on my buddy. Is it fair to have that burden be solely on her?
I want grandchildren. OK, so it’s a little premature for those thoughts, but all my eggs are in one basket (so to speak).
And lets face the facts. As my mother-in-law liked to say before I had kids, “You’re not getting any younger.”
How do people make that kind of a decision? I can barely decide what book to choose for the book club. Is it worth messing with my sanity now just to possibly improve the long term future? And there is no guarantee that any child will grow up to be responsible and helpful.
Perhaps I’ll start believing in a higher being and leave the decision to them.
December 20, 2009
new dreams
I had to fill out a form the other day and say what my biggest disappointment in life is. I am happy to report that Down syndrome was nowhere on that paper. My buddy gets more fun every day and I am relaxing a little on spending so much time doing his therapies.
In fact, I have a new dream for him. I know planning your child’s adult life is a waste of time and you will always be disappointed, but I just can’t help myself. I have a dream for monkey bear as well, but don’t tell her father. She will have many children and be a wonderful stay-at-home-mom. If her current obsession with babies continues, my dream may come true!
Now, for my buddy. He will have his own apartment, but it will be an in-law apartment so he will always be close to me. He will love to watch ABC Family movies and every time a good one comes on, we’ll make a delicious snack and watch together. I don’t dream big. I just dream about what will bring me the most joy.
In fact, I have a new dream for him. I know planning your child’s adult life is a waste of time and you will always be disappointed, but I just can’t help myself. I have a dream for monkey bear as well, but don’t tell her father. She will have many children and be a wonderful stay-at-home-mom. If her current obsession with babies continues, my dream may come true!
Now, for my buddy. He will have his own apartment, but it will be an in-law apartment so he will always be close to me. He will love to watch ABC Family movies and every time a good one comes on, we’ll make a delicious snack and watch together. I don’t dream big. I just dream about what will bring me the most joy.
December 13, 2009
standing
It’s crazy the joy I get out of watching my buddy stand up. He has mastered pulling himself to stand on various objects. He will even put a toy on the couch, pull himself up, and play while standing. He has to be leaning on something, but he is quite secure. He even will take a few steps to the side if something is worthwhile- ie the remote control or Mommy’s magazine.
It is just the cutest thing you ever saw. He smiles and babbles away just so very proud of what he can do. I know he worked so hard to get there and because he’s exercising himself (giving Mommy a break) I don’t care what he does while standing. He’s been known to pull all the CD’s out of the CD player, hammer the TV, push every button on the cable box, and lean so far over the edge of the tub that he fell in.
But the funniest thing I ever saw while standing was just before tubby time. Monkey bear was already in the tub and my buddy was standing leaning against the outside of the tub “talking” to his sister. I got him undressed (while standing) and then pulled his diaper off. He pushed his body away from the tub, supporting himself with his hands, looked down, and peed right on the side of the tub. For some reason, the sight of that chubby guy doing something a grown man would do just cracked me up.
It is just the cutest thing you ever saw. He smiles and babbles away just so very proud of what he can do. I know he worked so hard to get there and because he’s exercising himself (giving Mommy a break) I don’t care what he does while standing. He’s been known to pull all the CD’s out of the CD player, hammer the TV, push every button on the cable box, and lean so far over the edge of the tub that he fell in.
But the funniest thing I ever saw while standing was just before tubby time. Monkey bear was already in the tub and my buddy was standing leaning against the outside of the tub “talking” to his sister. I got him undressed (while standing) and then pulled his diaper off. He pushed his body away from the tub, supporting himself with his hands, looked down, and peed right on the side of the tub. For some reason, the sight of that chubby guy doing something a grown man would do just cracked me up.
November 28, 2009
black and white
Just when I am appreciating what my buddy can do and all that he has accomplished, the Birth to 3 Annual Evaluation comes in the mail. I was there for the evaluation and it was fun to see which goals he reached. He performed like a trooper and monkey bear managed to play happily. My buddy is making strides every day and it feels like a time of explosive growth.
But then I see it in black and white. There are many areas where his development is “age-appropriate” and I silently cheer and dream of his college graduation and subsequent honors and achievements. Then there are those areas where his skills are “of concern” or “delayed”. The dream changes to - maybe he’ll be able to live independently some day.
Oh, and there is the dreaded chart. He gets a percentile rank - social skills at 42% (the highest of them all) with most below10%. His age range equivalent (at 12 months old) range from 7 - 10 months. I know that the gap now is the closest it will ever be. He will continue to broaden the gap between himself and his peers until it is so large they no longer feel the need to measure it.
Every day it gets easier not to compare and measure my buddy. Every day he does something he couldn’t do the day before. Unfortunately, evaluations will be with him for a few years more. And I will just have to face the reality every once in a while and then put my rose colored glasses on and enjoy the snuggles.
But then I see it in black and white. There are many areas where his development is “age-appropriate” and I silently cheer and dream of his college graduation and subsequent honors and achievements. Then there are those areas where his skills are “of concern” or “delayed”. The dream changes to - maybe he’ll be able to live independently some day.
Oh, and there is the dreaded chart. He gets a percentile rank - social skills at 42% (the highest of them all) with most below10%. His age range equivalent (at 12 months old) range from 7 - 10 months. I know that the gap now is the closest it will ever be. He will continue to broaden the gap between himself and his peers until it is so large they no longer feel the need to measure it.
Every day it gets easier not to compare and measure my buddy. Every day he does something he couldn’t do the day before. Unfortunately, evaluations will be with him for a few years more. And I will just have to face the reality every once in a while and then put my rose colored glasses on and enjoy the snuggles.
November 23, 2009
wrestling hour
My buddy is an easy going guy, but it takes a lot to make him really laugh. I spend hours every day pulling out all the stops and doing things I never would in public. But, alas, no laughter. His usual expression says, “I wonder what that crazy lady is doing…”.
Every night after dinner, I lie on the floor and he comes crawling over with a determined look in his eyes. Let wrestling hour begin. For someone who only commando crawls, he somehow can leap through the air and land on my stomach. My buddy lets out the biggest laugh as we roll around on the ground.
He just loves rough, physical play. When monkey bear tickles him, which is not gentle at all, he laughs and laughs. My buddy’s other love is anything that lights up and plays music. He will find 3 or 4 toys and have them all going at the same time. I guess this means I am in for many years of loudness.
My buddy and monkey bear are so different, yet they compliment each other perfectly.
Every night after dinner, I lie on the floor and he comes crawling over with a determined look in his eyes. Let wrestling hour begin. For someone who only commando crawls, he somehow can leap through the air and land on my stomach. My buddy lets out the biggest laugh as we roll around on the ground.
He just loves rough, physical play. When monkey bear tickles him, which is not gentle at all, he laughs and laughs. My buddy’s other love is anything that lights up and plays music. He will find 3 or 4 toys and have them all going at the same time. I guess this means I am in for many years of loudness.
My buddy and monkey bear are so different, yet they compliment each other perfectly.
November 13, 2009
the system
A few weeks ago I attended a Down syndrome convention. I met some really great people and received some fantastic information. Perhaps too much information. It seems like every time I learn something new, it makes my job as a mom harder.
My buddy is in the Birth to 3 system that offers early intervention for children with special needs. We do physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and have a teacher. I’m sure monkey bear thinks that every baby gets people traipsing in and out of the house doing “exercises” with them. It’s a lot of different therapies and I learned that it may not be enough.
Right now in between appointments, I become the physical therapist etc. I have to work with him every day so that he can progress through his milestones at a faster pace. If he was left to his own devices, my buddy would hit each milestone, just at a much, much slower rate.
I learned that in other states he would be receiving over 20 hours a month of services while we were receiving 5 hours. I had a meeting and bumped the hours up to7. I really want to do what is best for him, but do I really want to fight and buck the system just to have someone in my house interrupting my schedule for 20 hours a month? And is that really what is best?
How am I supposed to advocate for him and fight for what he needs when I don’t really know what his needs are? I am not ready for a lifetime of dealing with the “system” and pretending I know what will prepare him for life better than everyone else. I just wanted a family, not a cause.
My buddy is in the Birth to 3 system that offers early intervention for children with special needs. We do physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and have a teacher. I’m sure monkey bear thinks that every baby gets people traipsing in and out of the house doing “exercises” with them. It’s a lot of different therapies and I learned that it may not be enough.
Right now in between appointments, I become the physical therapist etc. I have to work with him every day so that he can progress through his milestones at a faster pace. If he was left to his own devices, my buddy would hit each milestone, just at a much, much slower rate.
I learned that in other states he would be receiving over 20 hours a month of services while we were receiving 5 hours. I had a meeting and bumped the hours up to7. I really want to do what is best for him, but do I really want to fight and buck the system just to have someone in my house interrupting my schedule for 20 hours a month? And is that really what is best?
How am I supposed to advocate for him and fight for what he needs when I don’t really know what his needs are? I am not ready for a lifetime of dealing with the “system” and pretending I know what will prepare him for life better than everyone else. I just wanted a family, not a cause.
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