progress

I had a check-up at the doctor's today - on a side note:  What doctor's office does not carry People magazine?  Don't these people know that I rarely get away from the kids and that 10 minute wait is some precious me-time in which increasing my celebrity knowledge is crucial?

Anyway, I get sent across the street to the hospital to have some bloodwork done.  This is the same hospital where my buddy was born and spent 2 long weeks there while I traveled back and forth trying desperately to care for both my babes.  My usual response upon walking into the lobby is sobbing.  All the emotions of that crazy time come flooding back and I have a hard time controlling myself.

Today, I made progress.  I was preparing myself for the emotional attack while walking up the sidewalk.  Wouldn't you know, I walked in, paused for a moment, and felt nothing.  It was just a hospital lobby.  There was no grief attached to it.  No remorse or could-have-beens. 

I have always loved my buddy with every fiber of my being, but today I realized that I accept him.  I have come to terms with the words that used to haunt me:  Down syndrome.  It is no longer a scary place where people wear mismatched sweat outfits and get stared at everywhere they go.  It is a place where I am proud and where my buddy is the mayor and all who see him love him.