freedom

There is the taste of freedom in my mouth.  It's dawned upon me lately that I no longer have a baby hanging off various body parts, spitting up on any clean shirt I put on and making hours disappear with every diaper change and feeding.  I can leave the kids with Daddy without worry or hesitation.  I am stumbling out of the haze and into the light. 

I may be drunk with the freedom.  I've found myself curling my hair, applying nail polish and reading novel after novel.  I suddenly have free time.  Muffins have been baked and Hallmark TV movies have been watched.

My buddy is still a handful - don't get me wrong.  But I can sit him down with a cup of milk and a bowl of crackers and he can feed himself while I enjoy a cup of tea.  I napped on the couch while monkey bear decorated Valentine's.  Next thing you know I'll spend all day eating Bonbons. 

Having two miscarriages was devastating, but maybe this is how my life and my family were meant to be.