happiness

A few weeks ago I read a book and I can't get it off my mind.  The book was about one woman's pursuit of happiness.  She goes on a year long search and in doing so tries all sorts of different things to boost her own happiness.  You would think that this is what has stuck with me.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.  Out of 294 pages, one sentence - really just part of a sentence - has been dancing around my head.

In August, she decides to "contemplate the heavens" and one way of doing this is to read memoirs of "catastrophe".  I think the aim is to become more aware of the preciousness of ordinary life.  Along with memoirs on cancer, brain tumors and death, she reads a book about a woman who had a baby with Down syndrome.  You think of my life as a catastrophe?

It feels like being in middle school and overhearing some girls make fun of your best friend. 

I understand schadenfreude and the thought that things could always be worse.  I just never thought my buddy was worse.  And I can't believe that I take it all so personally.  I've been trying to get it off my mind.  But it's haunting me.

It doesn't help that I had to fill out a medical history and it asked if anyone in my family had:  Down's syndrome (mongolism).  So now I (the person that hides from any confrontation) has to go to my doctor's appointment and let them know that it is now known as Down (no 's) syndrome and the word mongolism is outdated and somewhat offensive. 

There are some things you can prepare for, but there are always those things that sneak up on you just when you least expect if.