March 18, 2013

embarassed

My buddy was very sick recently and while he is feeling much better, there is still something going on with him.  I'm not sure if it is post-sickness I am no longer getting everything I want or if he is still tired or something else.  Whatever the reason, he is now throwing himself down on the ground kicking and screaming when life doesn't go his way.

It was so bad after speech therapy that his therapist handed me a card for a behaviorist that will come to your house.  I left speech with Rara in one arm, dragging/carrying a flailing screaming boy with the other arm. 

When we went to pick up my buddy's new glasses, I had to hold him on the ground in full restraint so they could be fitted a little to his face. 

I hate it.  It is embarrassing and frustrating.  I find myself looking at the ground with my cheeks flushed and my pulse racing.  I want to tell anyone nearby that he usually isn't like this - really he is a sweet boy. 

It's not the first time that my buddy has gotten this way.  It happens from time to time and it eventually passes.  I would be lying if I said it didn't take its toll on me.  It's like playing with a timer and you never know when it will go off. 

*****

Not to change the subject, but monkey bears grasp on Down syndrome always makes me laugh.  A friend's little brother came to class one day with his mom to help out.  Monkey bear said, "Even though he is only 3, he sat nicely and could talk.  I don't think he has any Down syndrome."  I love that the norm for her is to have a brother with Down syndrome who acts in crazy ways.  In monkey bear's little world, having a typical brother is unimaginable. 

2 comments:

  1. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling, Elena. It is frustrating and embarrassing and when it happens to us, I feel like the world's worst mom. I feel, (even if it is or isn't happening) that people are judging me and finding me wonting as a mother. What is this woman doing that she can't control her child?
    And I make excuses; he's tired...a lot of times, I think he is. But then I realize it sounds like an excuse. "Sigh" anyway, I get it.
    Hugs
    Christina

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