June 22, 2010


Trouble.  That's what we call my buddy.  This morning from the shower I hear a frantic monkey bear calling my name.  I look out of the shower to see my buddy standing on top of the hope chest.  There goes my morning shower.  After climbing over the hope chest, he gets to Daddy's alarm clock - which he turns on and then promptly throws behind the night stand only to climb to the top of the night stand to look for it. 

This takes all of 37 seconds.

We say he goes from 0 - 120 mph.  Zero is when he is asleep and 120mph is every other minute of the day when he is awake.  The second he wakes up he sits right up and stands in our bed trying to climb over me and into a pile of trouble.

This evening, while trying to make dinner, another frantic call from monkey bear.  This time my buddy has pulled out the desk chair, climbed on up, and has one foot on the desk while pounding on the computer.  Every child-proofing thing I can find only works for a blissful week or two.  I am considering selling all belongings but toys.  Who needs chairs, couches, or desks?

I wouldn't mind if he climbed into a chair and sat for a while.  But he stands and walks around with no regard to the fact that he is a few feet off the ground and if you step the wrong way, gravity will take over.  I'm not sure what my buddy hears when I say, "NO".  I think he hears, "Please keep on doing what you were just a little faster and more frantic before I reach you and physically remove you."

Of course there is that part of you that hip hip hooray's the fact that he can pull a chair out and then climb up, isn't lazy, and wants to be into everything.  For me, that part exists while he is sleeping and I am finally sitting down.

June 9, 2010


My buddy still does not consistently sleep through the night.  A good night, he'll make it until 5am where I snuggle him in bed with us and he falls back asleep for another hour and a half.  Typical nights he wakes one to three times and just needs a friendly "Shush" with a little pat on the back and then he wakes at 5 am to join us in bed.

But then there are those nights where he wakes up and just needs to be held.  I have several different thoughts at all hours of the night.  One is typically - am I ever going to sleep again?  19 months is a long time to be deprived of sleep.

Another common thought is more of a worry - what is wrong?  Why is he waking up so much?  And then I mentally go through all the possible things that can be wrong and get myself all worked up.

The nights I like the best (besides the ones where I actually sleep) are the nights I just stare at his face in the dim light and marvel at my little boy.  I imagine what it must feel like to be him.  Something wakes you in the night and then, out of nowhere, this person comes to scoop you up, hold you close, and murmur sweet words until you are asleep again. I wish there was someone big enough to wrap their arms around me and hold me close.  I try and savor these moments because it won't be too long before he no longer fits in my arms.  And then that terrible day when he doesn't want me kissing him and hugging him.

It's so easy to get caught up in the hard times, but I try and tell myself that they won't be little forever.  He will sleep and then so will I.  Someday that stinky baby breath will just be bad breath and won't be nearly as sweet.  All that soft skin will be gone and he won't fit into that special spot on my shoulder nuzzled into my neck.  I want to always remember that peaceful look on his face when he knows he is safe in Mommy's arms.

June 2, 2010


My buddy finally did it.  He finally spoke.  If I point to a picture of me or have him touch my face and ask, "Who's that?" he answers with an enthusiastic, "MA!".  And when he sees a picture of Daddy, he says, "ma ma"... close enough for me!

Better than hearing that little voice - which I assure you is amazing - is the look he gets on his face.  I, of course, overreact with a "Woo Hoo" and big hug.  My buddy couldn't look more proud.  He smiles and looks as if he personally achieved world peace.

Oh and monkey bear.  She will jump up and down saying, "Yay he just said Mama!!!"  I can't wait for speech therapy next week.  I hope this is the beginning of a word explosion for him.  I really look forward to talking with him and learning more about who he will be.