December 30, 2014


The post holiday slump is here. The kids, while they love each other deeply, are getting on each other's nerves. The girls who almost always play perfectly together are fighting non-stop. As soon as my buddy enters their room, the shouting starts. I guess you can only tackle sisters and mess up their game so many times before you wear out your welcome. I'm feeling cooped up but outings are always a lot of work.

The good news is the weather has been unseasonably warm - allowing some fun outside play. And we have lots of new toys to entertain ourselves with.

I signed my buddy up for a private occupational therapist to help with sensory issues. After going only twice, I've cancelled it. My reasons are extensive but it simply was just not a good fit. I'm thinking I can do some research on my own and come up with a sensory diet I can do at home.

So here are the things we've been enjoying this week:

Still trying to potty train, but I love the droopy diaper and big sis' socks combo. It's like flashdance.

Sweet moments between sisters.

Fresh air that always improves moods.

Even with the new iPad, he can still find joy in blocks and books.

Just 5 more days before Mommy gets a little break and the big kids go back to school, but who's counting?!

December 23, 2014


Holidays have a way of making me feel both content and mediocre. I love the tradition of chopping down a tree and listening to carols while taking a drive in our jammies looking at Christmas lights. Decorating the house and baking cookies, however, are not my strong suit. No special trips to NYC. No themed parties. And no Elf.

The weather has been rainy and Grinchy. We've done our best to make life festive by jumping on the beds and plugging in the Christmas lights all day long.

I also stress about the little things - like my buddy's behavior at all the holiday parties. We never get a chance to sit down and socialize when we go places. 

The good news is that the kids are still little enough that Christmas morning should be magical. But more importantly, we have a full week to spend together as a family. Lots of snuggling together. And a slew of new toys to help keep the boredom at bay. 

Have a Merry Christmas!!

December 10, 2014


I haven't been in the mood to write lately. I had a whole post in my mind about some little things that were getting me down about my buddy, but they seemed so little. I didn't feel like I had anything significant to say. I blame the weather.

We did manage to get outside and brave the cold over the weekend.

Little rara and I like to hole up in the house as much as possible. I feel like lately there are more and more things to do - tis the season. I may not love having to care for a dog, but I do love their relationship.

I miss seeing his face without glasses. His new sports frames seem to be working out well, but they hide so much of that face which I love.

Big sis could sit in any number of comfy chairs in the house to read, but she would rather be on the hard kitchen floor because it is next to me while I cook dinner.

I've faithfully been taking photos every day. I am up to 67 days of my 365 day project. With the lack of sunshine to light up inspirational photos, I've been forced to get creative with Christmas tree lights and use myself as an uncomfortable model.

December 3, 2014


When Daddy travels for work, we all feel it. I have this anxiety about keeping 3 kids alive all night long. You would think it's harder during the day, but for me it's the nights. The kids are all clingier. They each have their way of showing how they miss him, even though no one actually says it. Big sis hangs out close to me instead of going off to play on her own. My buddy constantly asks me for hugs and he'll just grab my arm and wrap it around himself.

But little rara feels it the most. She cries at every nap and bedtime. Which is funny because during the week, Daddy isn't here for naps or bedtime. But somewhere in that little subconscious of hers, she knows that he is travelling. At night when she wakes, the only place she wants to be is in my bed. She is glued to my side all day long constantly wanting to have her hand on my skin, touching me to make sure I am still here. Every show that rara watches, she will say, "This makes me too sad. Turn it off."

So I put off washing dishes until they are asleep so I can snuggle them up on the couch, pulling them in close, giving them as much of me as I can to help them make it through the night. And then I think about poor Daddy all alone in the hotel room with no one to climb into his lap giving him the love he needs. I am grateful that they love their Daddy so much that it hurts when he is gone and I am grateful that he always comes home again.

November 24, 2014


Things have been fairly quiet around here lately. Well, maybe not quiet but not explosive either. We had an awesome visit from Nana. She washed every dish I made dirty and showered the kids with attention. My buddy had great behavior at school the days Nana was here - they said he seemed so calm and focused in the mornings. Every morning when I was leaving to bring the big kids to school, rara would ask, "I stay here with Nana?"If I could afford to buy them the house next door, I would in an instant.

A dusting of snow covered the ground and the kids loved it. I'm still working on finding hats and mittens and boots - a scramble every year. I like to pretend that winter is not coming and I just end up unprepared.

Still wearing her Elsa hat with a mouthful of different sized teeth.

New glasses ... in desperate need of a new hat! I may have to invent one that keeps ears warm and doesn't interfere with the glasses ability to stay upon a nose.

Some quiet afternoons playing inside when the weather turned cruelly cold. They love playing in the girl's huge closet with flashlights.

Big sis decided to be a dog so rara followed suit.

Monkey see, Monkey do (new tripod and remote - the girls wanted to take each other's picture)

I wanted to try out the new equipment too.

October 31, 2014


Halloween is a grand holiday. Nothing but fun and sugar. Halloween 6 years ago was a roller coaster of emotions. My buddy was still in the hospital after his birth - on oxygen. No one knew why or how long it would take. He had his first trip in an ambulance to a children's hospital to see if they could find something out. Halloween was quickly approaching and a toddler big sis needed a costume but I just didn't have it in me to even think about it. My mom was helping out so she took big sis shopping. Then finally, on Halloween afternoon, my buddy got the OK and we high tailed it on home. It was such a happy moment to walk in our house with my buddy.

Our first few Halloweens were fun. My buddy used the hand me down lion costume when he was 1 and big sis picked out a bigger lion costume so they could be matching.

Then came the time when my buddy 'should' have been old enough to pick out his own costume. But he can't/won't/doesn't care. There are so many costumes that he won't wear because they are uncomfortable. It was just another reminder of how he is different.

I would try and pretend I was my buddy and think of an idea he would have come up with himself. But I must say, they were uninspired.

But this year we rocked Halloween. I was never so excited to send him to school.

I asked the kids to run towards me. At first big sis refused to run because "blue dress Elsa is 21 years old and she doesn't just run around for fun." Then I finally convinced her to run for me and her competitive side came out. I love the face she made while shoving all younger siblings out of her way.

Happy Halloween!!!