October 25, 2012

the corner

My buddy has an internal sensor that seems to know when I am at my breaking point.  He then magically turns a corner and gives me a break... well as much of a break as he can.  After some good advice from my mom (the retired Special Ed teacher) and some time ignoring house cleaning and focusing on my buddy, things are on the upswing.

Maybe all the talk about being a big 4 year old boy hit home.  He's even used the potty twice at school.  Maybe he just decided that sitting in time out stinks and getting rewarded with the iPad is a much better choice.  Whatever the reason, I am grateful. 

My buddy's birthdays always bring about an abundance of emotions.  There is no way not to relive the first time you hear the words Down syndrome or how you had to leave him at the hospital hooked up to countless machines.  I also can't help but think - now he is 4 and still can't talk.  Does he even understand that it is his birthday? 

He did have a nice party.  We let him play the iPad and open presents whenever he wanted.  He hugged every last person to say Thank You and didn't melt down once. 

In unrelated news, monkey bear is coming out of her shell at school yet really craving Mommy at home.  At school, monkey bear is going potty and talking and has "3 best friends".  She is also crying at night because she misses me so much during the day.  It breaks my heart.  Growing up is so hard.

Rara is refusing to nap longer than 20 minutes and still wakes up at least twice at night.  She has these totally crabby times of day where she is so tired but just can't sleep.  Then she has times where she squeals with delight and rolls about the floor with pure joy in her heart.  Around 6pm she hits a wall, but all she needs is to be stripped naked and set free.  (Of course I have all these fears that she will have sensory issues as she grows, but that is just me being paranoid.)

So, I am still tired, but things are looking up.  Some days I am like Super Mom and all three kids get bathed and those are the days I will remember.

October 14, 2012


We have an ongoing joke around here when it comes to my buddy's extra chromosome.  If he's having a mischievous day, the extra chromosome is all trouble.  If some super loud gas erupts, than it's all Portuguese.  The reality is that extra chromosome is all empathy.

Recently, little rara has been left to cry a little in her crib to get herself to sleep.  The first night, my buddy laid in front of his door and cried along with her.  No matter how much I tried to convince him that she was fine and she would fall asleep soon, he didn't stop crying until she did.

My buddy may be the one that smacked you in the head with a truck, but he is the first one to give you a hug and a kiss.  No matter who is upset - a perfect stranger or his baby sister - my buddy has to check it out and make sure that everyone is fine.

At least three times a day, my buddy will go around the room at random times giving everyone a hug and a kiss.  He never misses a person.  My buddy may not have the words to say how he feels, but a day never goes by where I doubt the immense intensity of his love for us all.

October 10, 2012


It seems like lately everyone needs a piece of me and I seem to be spinning in circles not quite getting anywhere.  I know this is a direct result of adding a new little into the family.  Everyone is more needy and I am just so tired.  I get overwhelmed with all there is to do that I distract myself with, oh I don't know, writing a blog entry and pretending I live a life of leisure.

I thought with the big kids in school, things would be slower.  Oh how wrong I was.  I have to leave the house in a timely manner 3 times a day.  90 minutes of my day is spent in the car because I am too overprotective and won't put my buddy on a bus.  Then there is all the paperwork and homework.  My buddy had a fall project we had to do.  There are a lot of things he really enjoys... decorating a paper pumpkin is not one of those things.

I tried to implement a sticker chart with my buddy to help with his behavior at home.  Really it should be a sticker chart for me. It slowed me down and forced me to pay more attention to my buddy, which of course improved his behavior.  He only throws and is a menace when I am in the other room and he craves some attention.  Maybe I should make a sticker chart for myself... clean toilets, earn a sticker, play game with kids, earn a sticker, 20 stickers gets Mama a new pair of shoes.  Anyway, after a few days of spending so much time focused on my buddy's behavior improvement, I was exhausted because I was up way too late folding laundry, washing dishes, filling out birthday invitations and everything else I didn't get done during the day.

Monkey bear has been really needy since starting Kindergarten.  She had a weekend where she just kept crying because she missed Mommy and she told me that sometimes her eyes get a little teary at school because she wishes she was with me.  It broke my heart a little.  Then she gets all mouthy and snarkily says her new catch phrase - "I don't care".  Also since school, she has been waking in the night to use the potty so she is more tired... as am I because she wakes me up as well.

Poor little rara.  She never gets to nap or eat when she really wants.  She rarely gets to be free to roll about and she's always getting shoved back into the car.  Hopefully she will be on some sort of a schedule that works with drive times and things will be a little more predictable for her.  Oh and if she could stop waking me up multiple times a night, that would be great.

I keep on thinking there must be a way to do it all.  If only I had the right schedule set up I could somehow cook, clean, do dishes, pay the bills, laundry, exercise, shower, give all 3 kids attention, help with homework, speech therapy, grocery shop, bathe all kids, make photobooks, write in baby book, perform mentally enriching activities appropriate for each aged child, properly potty train my buddy and read a book.  Until I figure that out, I'll just keep perusing Pintrest hoping for a magic answer.