May 16, 2011

delays

I've been thinking lately about my buddy being delayed.  Most of the time I think about all he's accomplished and don't stress too much... except for when he flings his food in my face or hits a baby.  I know that he's not typical and worry about his lack of words but I try and take it in stride not focusing on the hard parts.

Something got me thinking about being delayed and what that really means.  My buddy's physical ability is so close to being on target, he understands so much and even though he can't talk he is amazing with sign language, and he has come so far.  I think where the delays are really becoming obvious is in his behavior and level of maturity. 

I can't stop myself from seeing how most 2 1/2 year olds act and doing that comparison dance.  My buddy can't stop himself from dumping... well... everything.  Plates of food, bins of toys, containers of blocks, a carefully built building.  He will pull the pacifier out of the mouth of every baby we encounter.  He climbs, wedges himself into small spots, and generally endangers his well being on a daily basis.  My buddy refuses to walk next to me and hold my hand.  I find myself carrying him or strapping him into a stroller all the time.  When my buddy decides to run off he will not stop unless you physically stop him.

It becomes this crazy mix of abilities.  My buddy can move like a 2 year old but with the impulse control of a 15 month old.  He has this wicked sense of humor yet he still bites.  He can put several signs together to have his needs met and at the same time has no clue that punching someone in the face hurts them. 

Sometimes I worry that I am super overprotective and that I hover over him too much.  I don't want my buddy to hurt others or himself and I know that he will if left to his own devices.  I hate that I have to follow him all around and can't just let him play on his own.  I dream about being one of those mom's at the playgroup or park that gets to sit and watch the kids play while chatting with the adults. 

One good thing about delays is he still has a sweet baby way about him.  My buddy loves snuggling in the rocking chair with me.  Nothing can calm him down better than Mommy's arms.  I plan on holding him in that rocking chair for as long as I can.

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