May 2, 2011

cave man

My buddy has many qualities that closely mirror our relatives of the stone age.  There is a lot of grunting and chest beating.  His diapers have been known to smell like a woolly mammoth.  Of course, he refuses to wear shoes.  Although, perhaps if I strapped animal pelts to his feet he might keep them on.

My buddy can take down prey - the ever illusive sistersaurus - with a mighty hair pull followed by clubbing with a blunt object.  Yes, he is a troglodyte in many ways.

His largest neanderthal similarity is in his table manners.  I have begun to lose count as to the number of plates of food I have cleaned off the floor.  I've tried every gizmo out there and none of them work for my buddy.  When he decides he is done or perhaps he just wants the milk he flung to the floor earlier, there is no winning.  I figure I have a few options.

I could go on like I am now but so far that's not working all that great for me.  I can eat my dinner cold after he eats and totally focus my energy on him making it a learning process and testing my patience at the same time.  I can just throw a few pieces on his tray and say to-the-heck with plates and forks and spoons... eat with your hands and be merry.  I could convince my mom to move in next door and come over for every meal and she can do the hard work while I eat in peace and quiet.  Oooooh... that one sounds good.

I suppose I can just accept that I am raising a cave man and the future Queen and start naming the ants. 

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