look

I've often said how grateful I am that my buddy has a disability that is right there in his DNA. We don't have to prove anything in order to get the services he needs and people can look at him and not expect him to be like every other kid.




It makes some things easier - like when a couple of kids build a huge tower out of foam blocks and my buddy body slams it before I can stop him - the dad isn't mad. Of course my buddy has to apologize and see if they want help fixing what he ruined. The kids are still pissed but the dad can see my buddy's disability all over his face and I am relieved not to have him be angry with me.

Or when my buddy goes right up to the two skateboarding dudes and stands right between them. They can't understand anything he says, but they are so patient with him.





It also makes some things harder. The lower expectations make it harder to live up to your potential. I want my buddy to be a shining example of what a child with Down syndrome can be when we are out. I want people to see how funny he is and how loved. My buddy is rarely at his best in public. More often than not, he is growling at me or shouting 'NO'.



Then I get 'the look'. Man how I hate that look. Sometimes it's pity. Other times relief that he's not their kid. It's the one time I am grateful I can't read people's minds. I know I can't make everyone fall in love with my buddy and I can't single handedly change how everyone perceives people with Down syndrome. I just hope that somewhere along the way, my buddy can win over a heart or two.

joy

Turning 40 brought me a surprising dose of clarity and confidence. I lived a good part of my life feeling insecure, not wanting to stand out and being worried what others thought of me. I wore the clothes I thought I should and kept opinions to myself. I was making choices based on what I thought I should choose and had no idea I was doing it.

Then I heard this organizational guru talk about how you should surround yourself with things that bring you joy. For example, you pile all of your clothes on the floor then one by one, you touch each piece and ask yourself if it brings you joy. Plain and simple, if it brings you joy then keep it.

I realized that none of my shirts brought me joy. I wore them but hated the way they felt on my body. So I bought the shirts I really wanted - ones that felt good to put on and left me feeling confident. I feel like this little change has seeped into all parts of my life.

I'm a big fan of a daily phone conversation with my BFF just complaining and getting it all out. But I think there is a fine line of getting it out and laughing over it (because laughing brings joy) versus focusing on the suckiness and giving it power. The times in my life where I threw pity parties for myself were times I wasn't happy.

Photography has brought me such incredible joy. In the past I tried sketching, crafting and painting. I could do them all, but they left me stressed and produced no joy. For years I had no creative outlet. Finding one little thing that I can do just for me has made such a powerful impact. I don't have the luxury of a lot of time without little ones to look after, so finding something that includes them has been perfect.

Plus being able to look back at their little faces - joy to the thousandth degree.

Of course I believe in moderation and sometimes life just sucks. There are times when you just need to hide and wait for it to pass. I believe that if you focus on the joy in your life and actively search out things that make you happy, it can only help.

Here are a few moments that bring joy to me. May you find something today that brings you joy.