March 13, 2010


I can’t seem to shake the guilt I feel about the day my buddy was born.  It should have been a day of joy and unbridled happiness.  How could I have looked at him and felt such sadness and loss?  I’m not sure I can ever make that up to him.  I find myself giving him extra snuggle time and his cheeks are raw from all the kissing.   I need for him to know that I am overjoyed he joined our family.

I hate that I think of his birth and remember all the pain.  I wish someone could have made me see that it’s not a big deal.  Life hands out WAY bigger deals that Down syndrome.  With that extra chromosome, comes so much.  He will meet a kid for the first time and kiss them.  So maybe most kids don’t appreciate the open mouth slobberyness of it all, but it’s the thought that counts.

My buddy is one of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen, but for some reason I can’t capture it on film.  Every picture of him is lacking.  I read recently a mom referring to the extra chromosome as pure magic…  I agree.  There is a sparkle when you are around him that just doesn’t translate into pictures.

In the past, I’ve searched for something that made me unique.  I think being my buddy’s mom is exactly what I was searching for.   I can’t wait to watch him grow and see all that he can be.

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