music

I love the yin and yang of life.  Every time I feel like my buddy isn't making significant progress, he goes and proves me wrong.  We signed up for a music therapy class through the CT Down syndrome Congress.  Wouldn't you know, my buddy was a model student.

He sat.  That deserves its own special recognition.  He sat.  For the whole hour long class.  He followed directions - playing the instrument quietly, fast, high, etc.  He answered questions.  He danced, spun and drummed when appropriate.  My buddy could not have done any better.  I was able to attend the class with all three kids and not be stressed when we left. 

I love being able to see him progress and mature.  While I am still secretly petrified about my buddy starting Kindergarten in the fall, I will try and not think of that now and just celebrate how awesome he was today. 

party

We had a fun Valentine's party yesterday.  As the kids get older, it gives the moms more of an opportunity to talk while our kids are able to play on their own.  Plus my living room is super kid friendly and small so not to much chasing is required.

I was thrilled that my buddy actually participated in the party.  He spent a few minutes coloring his craft and actually sat and ate snack with all the kids.  My buddy greeted friends with a hug and a kiss - whether they wanted one or not. 

As our friends gain independence and maturity, the gap between my buddy and his peers widens.  My buddy was the only one at the party to tackle someone to the ground and make them cry.  He was the only one grabbing toys out of other kids hands then throwing himself on the ground after I made him give them back.  No one else kicked a baby and made them cry.  He threw a fit when I gave him goldfish instead of pretzels.  Pretty typical behavior for my buddy.

Wouldn't you know one of the kids left the bathroom open and my buddy snuck in there.  When I went in to get him out, he sat on what he though was the toilet seat.  The look of surprise on my buddy's face was priceless as he sunk inside the potty soaking his pants and diaper in toilet water. 

Luckily I have some very understanding friends who have known my kids their whole life.  I'm not sure if they even notice my buddy's antics the way I do.  But if they do notice they most certainly do not judge and for that I am grateful.

funk

I have reached that time after having a baby when the I-don't-know-who-I-am funk is creeping in.  It's a funny thing.  Rara is starting to get more independent.  She can sit up and play by herself for an extended period.  She can feed herself a hunk of rice cake.  Yet, she still needs me every few hours and no one else will do.  I love that I can offer her nature's perfect baby food, free of charge, fresh from the tap.  But I would like my body back at some point and I still have some time to go. 

I always say that I want to get away and have time for just me but whenever the opportunity presents itself, I find some reason or another not to leave the kids.  Really I just want an hour.  But what would I do with that hour?  I find such fulfillment in being a Mom.  It has answered many of the Who I am questions.  But every so often I hit the funk.

This funk came way before children ever did.  I never had that 'thing' that I was super good at and was known for.  I could not for the life of me choose a major in college.  I bopped between hobbies.  I played a sport here or there.  Nothing really stuck.

Rara is still brutal at night - waking up 4 times a night to eat.  She is so darn distracted during the day that all I can get her to do is nibble a little here and there.  At night she chows.  And I am so tired that the thought of night weaning her seems like so much work when I am in the most need of the easy way out.  I did work really hard on getting her to fall asleep on her own.  She (at the moment) is just eating and going right back to sleep. 

So I find myself unable to stay awake past dark, quite exhausted and in a rut.  I had a little fun recently crafting.  Monkey bear talked me into having a Valentine's Party for her friends she never gets to see anymore.  I pulled out the ol' glue gun after a trip to the craft store and I've enjoyed it.    

I tried to ask my husband what he thought I should do with myself, but that didn't go well.  I asked my best friend and she had a great idea, but it requires a lot more time than I am able to give.  Perhaps I need to visit a psychic.  Or maybe just a month of good sleep and the answer will appear.