switch

You know those days when you lose your temper and act in a way that is not very becoming?  Well, I feel like I've been having a lot of those days lately.  It's not his fault that he's been working like crazy and coming home super stressed.  It's not her fault she hasn't recovered from the time change.  It's not his fault he is up at night with a terrible cough.  It's not her fault she never sleeps through the night and has a cold.  Being sleep deprived is no excuse for taking it out on all of them.

I know that all parents... scratch that... all people have times where they react to a situation and show their worst possible self.  If someone was secretly recording me the last few weeks, I'm sure I would be mortified watching it back.  But it's like this black hole where the grumpier you feel, the deeper into the grumpy pit you fall.

I need to find the switch.  Turn myself right around.  I need to accept the fact that there is a dog in my life and stop being ticked every time I have to scoop her poop, clean pee off the carpet or toss another book she destroyed.  Let the resentment go.  Just stop shouting at the kids.  Get up off my duff and make some positive happen.  After all, they are worth it.

His new favorite trick.

She helped me fix her hair.

My grumpy always rubs off on her.

rara

Rara is not quite a year and a half old.  I really had forgotten how much fun this age is... or maybe I never appreciated it before.  When big sis was this age, I was dealing with a newborn.  My buddy hit milestones at his own rate - and never all at the same time - so he was never like this.

Rara can communicate most of her needs.  She is really funny.  She's shy around strangers but outgoing at home.  Your heart melts with just one of her smiles.  She is fearless.  Rara really is good company.  She has this baby that she drags around with her everywhere.  The doll has become - 'favorite baby.'  Don't even think about putting clothes on that baby either.  Rara will shout, "OFF" until she is naked once more.

Rara will let me pull her hair back.  Then a couple of minutes later, after I'm feeling all smug like I finally did it, she will pull the elastic or barrette out while laughing and running away.  She is a dickens.  And now her hair hangs in her eyes all day long.  Although, I do like watching her little hands push the hair out of her face.

When you ask her a question, she will answer with an adorable, "uh-huh or no."  Big sis loves to ask her a ton of questions and see what the answer will be.  We usually end up in hysterics.  Rara can't say big sis' name so she calls her Mama or Dada and then laughs.  Rara is the only one in the house that searches out the dog just to play with her.  

Even more than the dog, rara loves her Daddy.  When daddy is home, no one else will do.  She won't let me pick her up or put her to bed.  She follows him around never taking her eyes off of him.  It is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

sibling love

My buddy and big sis are just 15 months apart.  I really wanted kids close in age so they could be best buds and developmentally into the same toys/classes/etc at the same time.  I figured since I was neck deep in baby, what's one more?  Of course, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.

One worry when you hear the words Down syndrome is for the sibling.  Will they feel burdened or embarrassed?  Will they still have a sibling relationship?  Of course we put all our preconceived ideas of what a child with Down syndrome is like onto the sibling.

Big sis and my buddy have the best relationship.  They play games together and want to do what the other one is doing.  They miss each other during school.  The smile they give each other when they are finally reunited is heart warming.

Big sis doesn't know life without my buddy and without Ds.  Having therapists come to the house was a norm for her.  Learning sign language so we could communicate better just came naturally.  They really do have the sweetest relationship.  I like to try and talk to big sis about my buddy but try not to focus too much attention on his differences.  Two recent conversations went like this:

Me:  Do you think my buddy has taught you anything?
Her: He taught me to be more brave and not to be afraid of dogs.

Me: Do you think my buddy is different or just like other kids?
Her: He's different.
Me: Why?
Her: Well he can't talk like other kids and he gets really frustrated a lot.
Me: Do you wish he was just like the other kids?
Her: No, I love him the way he is.

She truly does love him just the way he is.   And his love for her is pure and beautiful.