You know those days when you lose your temper and act in a way that is not very becoming? Well, I feel like I've been having a lot of those days lately. It's not his fault that he's been working like crazy and coming home super stressed. It's not her fault she hasn't recovered from the time change. It's not his fault he is up at night with a terrible cough. It's not her fault she never sleeps through the night and has a cold. Being sleep deprived is no excuse for taking it out on all of them.
I know that all parents... scratch that... all people have times where they react to a situation and show their worst possible self. If someone was secretly recording me the last few weeks, I'm sure I would be mortified watching it back. But it's like this black hole where the grumpier you feel, the deeper into the grumpy pit you fall.
I need to find the switch. Turn myself right around. I need to accept the fact that there is a dog in my life and stop being ticked every time I have to scoop her poop, clean pee off the carpet or toss another book she destroyed. Let the resentment go. Just stop shouting at the kids. Get up off my duff and make some positive happen. After all, they are worth it.
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His new favorite trick. |
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She helped me fix her hair. |
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My grumpy always rubs off on her. |
Dear Elena,
ReplyDeleteWere I there enjoying your children with you in the park or at your house with a beverage, I'd say I've been there. I became the yeller Mommy I said I'd never be when my son was small. I was bowled over when I read another blogger owning it and pledging to never yell again. The affect she described it had had on her children was eloquent. We all have been there. And it is human and habitual in a weird way. But gaurenteed, when you say sorry to that little girl, she'll remember that for the rest of her life. I always did. Made my Mom human.
Love,
Shalagh