fear

Monkey bear has never been a particularly outgoing child.  As an infant, she would cry if a stranger got to close to her.  She refused to talk in front of anyone else but us for a good 10 months.  As soon as the video camera comes out, she clams right up.  When we walk through the mall and are accosted by the baby talent scouts, I just laugh picturing her standing silently in front of the camera refusing to perform.

But lately, true fear has been rearing its ugly head.  Monkey bear is mostly scared of dogs and the dark.  Today a new fear showed up and surprised me.  We were sauntering through the mall just the two of us.  Monkey bear earned enough stickers on her chart for going to bed without crying and we were out to get her a special something.  She decided she really wanted tights and a fancy dress (not my child). 

There we were, tights purchased and searching for a dress to match (not an easy goal because the tights are covered with rainbow colored hearts and peace signs).  While admiring the huge Christmas tree and excited for a ride down the escalator - a treat without my buddy and the stroller around - we round the corner and spy Santa Clause.

As we descend, monkey bear becomes more and more frightened.  She has a death grip on my hand and is beginning to climb up my legs.  Once we are out of sight of Santa, monkey bear says she just wants to go home.  I convince her to at least buy a dress first.  She does not want to go and play, she does not want to come back to the mall until Santa is no longer there.

Who is afraid of being in the same mall as Santa?????

We LOVE the mall and use it as a free form of entertainment.  Where do these fears come from?  I try so hard to be understanding and empathetic.... tell myself if it was a tarantula sitting in that fuzzy green and red chair, I might not want to go to the mall either.  But there is a part of me that just wants to tell her to buck up and be brave.  I suppose we are in for some Santa desensitization.