December 31, 2013

new year

I used to hate New Year's Eve.  So much pressure for such a non-event.  When I was younger, it was the realization that, yet again, I had no boy to kiss at midnight.  Then as I grew older I felt like I had to assess my life and pick out the things I didn't like and make grandiose plans to change things.  Thank goodness I am secure in who I am and no longer fret over New Year's.

It took me many years to get here.  When I graduated college, I worked for a science museum which was a great job.  Then we moved so my husband could finish school.  I worked in the admissions department of a massage therapy school.  As far as office jobs go - it was pretty chill.  There was the weekly chi gong lesson and the ability to volunteer your body for a massage when the student clinic had an opening.  But my office was a closet with no windows.  I did mundane work for a stickler of a boss.  I developed these horrible stomach pains.

I decided to make a change.  So I became a nanny.  I found a job with an amazing family.  Took the kids to the park every chance I got and the stomach pains disappeared.  Unfortunately, I was still young and worried what others thought of me.  Whenever someone asked me what I did, I started out telling them I went to college and then worked it into being a nanny.  I was embarrassed.

Eventually I made peace with it.  I still felt like I had no calling in life but I didn't really stress over it. I'm more of a enjoy the moment kind of a girl.  Then I had kids and it all made sense.

There are things I don't like - dishes, laundry and the *%$#@ grocery store.  But this is the life I chose and I try and enjoy as much of it as possible.  I don't live for tomorrow or think the grass is greener somewhere else.  I am happy to my core.  I look forward to 2014 as another year to hug my kids and hear their laughter.  I hope to challenge myself and push myself into new adventures but I know that some day, these kids will be grown and I will have all the time in the world to explore the things I like.  Right now I like looking at these faces:

No comments:

Post a Comment