September 25, 2009

stop the maddness

When I was pregnant, I signed up for this great thing from the What to Expect website.  They sent weekly emails saying how big the baby was, what parts were growing and how to deal with all sorts of pregnancy things.  Then as your baby is born, they send weekly emails on what kind of milestones you baby should have reached and what will come next.  For monkey bear, this was great information.  For my buddy, this is a weekly reminder of what he isn’t doing.  Finally, after 11 months of this self torture, I unsubscribed.

Clicking that button was easy, but the constant comparisons are not.  I can’t help but look at monkey bear’s baby book and think to myself… “if she played peek a boo at 6 months, and he’s doing it at 11 months does that mean intellectually he is 6 months”.

I have a handle on the physical side of things because I can imagine how things will progress and how it will just be slower.  But what I can’t seem to figure out is the intellectual side of things.  When he is 3, will he only be able to grasp concepts that a 2 year old would?  And how does one set up reasonable expectations for his behavior.  I assume once we are there, it will make sense to me.

Tomorrow I will be attending my first big Down syndrome event - The Buddy Walk.  I hope to leave there with bright hopes for my buddy’s future and to stop the comparison maddness.  I want to look at my friend’s daughter, who is a week older than my buddy, and appreciate her for her and not compare what she can do to what he can do.  I hope that seeing so many amazing kids with Ds who are able to do all sorts of things will light flames under my glass so I can see that it is half full.

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