missing

When Daddy travels for work, we all feel it. I have this anxiety about keeping 3 kids alive all night long. You would think it's harder during the day, but for me it's the nights. The kids are all clingier. They each have their way of showing how they miss him, even though no one actually says it. Big sis hangs out close to me instead of going off to play on her own. My buddy constantly asks me for hugs and he'll just grab my arm and wrap it around himself.

But little rara feels it the most. She cries at every nap and bedtime. Which is funny because during the week, Daddy isn't here for naps or bedtime. But somewhere in that little subconscious of hers, she knows that he is travelling. At night when she wakes, the only place she wants to be is in my bed. She is glued to my side all day long constantly wanting to have her hand on my skin, touching me to make sure I am still here. Every show that rara watches, she will say, "This makes me too sad. Turn it off."

So I put off washing dishes until they are asleep so I can snuggle them up on the couch, pulling them in close, giving them as much of me as I can to help them make it through the night. And then I think about poor Daddy all alone in the hotel room with no one to climb into his lap giving him the love he needs. I am grateful that they love their Daddy so much that it hurts when he is gone and I am grateful that he always comes home again.