July 21, 2014

I usually blog when I have something on my mind (or some super cute pictures to share). I get it all out and then it's not bouncing all around my head. Free therapy! Most of the time it's related to my kids because, let's face it, they consume most of my life. I rarely think twice about writing it all down and sharing.

Lately something more personal has been invading my mind. My body. I've put on a few pounds and it's not sitting well with me. That combined with the worst haircut since my mom gave me a mullet in 6th grade and some dermatitis on my face, I'm feeling a little bad about myself. The worse I feel, the more I want to eat. Then that nagging voice says, "You really shouldn't be eating that." To which the only answer is to eat 3 servings. It's a losing cycle that I need to break myself out of.

Why can't I appreciate all that my body has done and continues to do? I birthed 3 children with no complications. I am strong and flexible. I can scoop a tantruming 50 pound kid off the floor in the blink of an eye. I can dance. I can run. I can hug 3 children at the same time.

I never say anything about my body in front of the kids. I want my girls to have a positive body image. I've spent so many years hating my perfectly healthy body - the last thing I want to do is pass that onto the girls.

I am hoping that I am not alone out here. Maybe you negative self talk too. I think the only way to stop the insanity in my head is to respect myself. Feed my body with healthy food and my soul with positive loving self talk. Kindness is so easy for me to spread to others. Maybe we can help each other save some kindness for ourselves.

I think maybe I need a mantra. Like a good ol' fashioned "I am woman hear me roar." Only more appropriate. Any good ideas? How about - My body is just a vessel for my awesomeness. Or maybe I should just start Ohmmmm-ing to drown out the bad stuff. I am what I am, and what I am is OK. (I said that so many times in my head that now it just sounds plain ridiculous and a lot like Popeye.)

So I may be lacking some eloquent words to fully express how I am feeling. Heck, I can't even think of a title for this post. I'm not entirely sure I want to hit that little publish button. I tried to take some lovely photos of myself. I'd push a swing, hit the timer button, pose myself in 10 seconds then run back to push a swing again. When I looked through the photos in the end, I saw that my feet were crossed over each other in this super shy self conscious dance in picture after picture. I'm sure this speaks volumes to anyone who knows about body language.

I would love to wrap this post up with a pretty little bow, but I've already gone on longer than I intended. So please, share something that has helped you love yourself more. How do you respect your body?

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