birthday blues

Every year around my buddy's birthday, I usually get a little blue. I focus on all those negative emotions I had when he was born and I wallow in guilt. For some reason, none of that happened this year. I'm still very aware that 6 years ago he was still in the hospital while I was discharged. I hug him tighter these 15 days for all the hugs I didn't have a chance to give him then.

But no guilt. Maybe 6 years of guilt is enough to endure.

I also think that the awesome Halloween costume idea my husband came up with helps. Halloween is one of those holidays that reminds me how my buddy is different. He can't come up with a costume idea (and quite frankly I don't think he even cares). He won't wear something that doesn't feel like regular clothes. The list goes on. Usually I try and pretend I'm him and think about what he might want to be. It's always understated and not very exciting for me. But this year he is going to rock Halloween.

I can't wait!

Here's my big 6 year old in the tub. Being his usual reserved, quiet self.

We hit the park over the long weekend. After watching the skateboarders for a while, playing and rolling down a big hill, they jumped at the chance to play in the skateboard park when the big kids left. I lovingly refer to it as the dirtiest slide known to man. But they loved every moment.