October 28, 2014


I have all these conflicting emotions about my buddy and school. I feel guilty that he gets so much special attention and doesn't have to follow all the rules like the other kids. I'm self-conscience that he has so many people working with him - coming out of all the taxpayers pockets. Even with all they do, I'm still concerned that it's not enough. My buddy's behavior some days is out of control and all his teachers really earn their paychecks those days. Yet I still feel like they could do better with him.

The number of formal and informal meetings we've had just seems to increase. Rara, who comes with me, will speak fluent Special Educator soon. It amazes me what it takes just to educate one little boy. Every time we hit milestones with my buddy, I keep thinking it will get easier.

I have this vision of him as an adult and I cruising in my VW Cabrio (my dream car when I was 16) enjoying the same music and heading to a movie together because we love hanging out and are into the same things. But as he gets bigger, I'm not sure my vision has any grasp of reality.

Every day while my buddy is in school, I think about what kind of a day he is having. If he is eating his lunch today. Did he kick anyone? Is he cooperating?

But there is nothing I can really do. We'll have our meetings and I will help them get to understand him better. They will improve how we work with my buddy at home. And slowly but surely he will mature.

I am grateful that he has more energy these days and we are enjoying some beautiful fall weather.

Everyone is a little off this week. Daddy is travelling and it affects everyone differently. Monkey bear asks me every day when he is coming home and she gets defiant. Rara cries more and halfway through a crying jag will just say, "Dada." My buddy literally asks me to hug him every 5 minutes. He pushes me down just so he can climb into my lap and be snuggled.

We are looking forward to Halloween. Rara dressed up for story time and for play group this week. We are getting good use out of that costume!

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